Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My Insistence on my Self

I read Decreation by Anne Carson last month. I am still somehow with the book. On this blog, in my last entry, I quoted four lines from it. I don't equally love every part of Decreation, but when I do love it, it's in this very heightened way, similar to when my life is heightened, riding along the sharp edge of a sharp surface. The section called "Stops" is especially like this for me. "Standing on it the wind goes thin, to shreds." And then there is the section called "Decreation." And then a second section also called "Decreation." An essay, and then an opera, both featuring Sappho, Marguerite Porete, and Simone Weil. Carson talks about Porete's "FarNear," and it makes sense to me, the FarNear, and makes me appreciate what in my life has been this, or has at least seen it, or has at least met it blindly. I would like to read Porete's The Mirror of Simple Souls. Of Weil, Carson says, "The process of decreation is for her a dislodging of herself from a centre where she cannot stay because staying there blocks God." I have thought a lot about no self, but not about what I might be blocking in my insistence on my self. What would it be to unblock? What would it feel like? And, then, what would I see?

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