Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Feminaissance Blog Project: Allison Carter




This Happened To You Because
Allison Carter

because you’re the kind of girl who probably couldn't avoid success, even if she tried. the kind of girl who'd push you off a cliff, then tell the world you jumped. the kind of girl who cooks up ideas so kooky, so out-of-this-world, that even her fellow students tend to roll. the kind of girl who rooted for the bad girls in movies. the kind of girl who shows up at your party, demands to smoke your weed, and then never passes it back to you. the kind of girl who thinks she's smart. the kind of girl who does nothing but bad things. the kind of girl who has a drawer full of bow ties. the kind of girl who was always kind of fun and happy, didn't seem to give a shit about anything and was like a real rock star. the kind of girl who's there when she needs you. the kind of girl who stood by her decisions and stuck to it. the kind of girl who thinks that she can out-smart her brain. the kind of girl who really, really, likes her cars. the kind of girl who'd never let you look inside. the kind of girl who recognizes when she's behaving badly and seems to do it reluctantly. the kind of girl who always looks forward, doesn't look back. the kind of girl who likes feeling high. the kind of girl who would use the word “desperately” lightly. the kind of girl who looks you straight in the eye and tells the truth. the kind of girl who's going to go off and retire and just play with horses and golf. the kind of girl who will let you down.

because you’re the the kind of guy who could be my boyfriend. the kind of guy who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. the kind of guy who knew when to say when. the kind of guy who could stop traffic in the street. the kind of guy who gives you the best sex. the kind of guy who keeps messing up. the kind of guy who'd have diseases. the kind of guy who will lay down at your feet. the kind of guy who really likes sports. The kind of guy who flirts outrageously with women in order to parlay masculine wiles into fun cash and prizes. the kind of guy who takes pity on poor pathetic geeks who have never kissed a guy. the kind of guy who believes in joking around about his feelings and I feel that I have joked around so much about my feelings. the kind of guy who dreams of a lovely home with a family and a little pet dog. the kind of guy who knew when to say when. the kind of guy who grew up dreaming about his Prince/Princess Charming or fantasized about his wedding. the kind of guy who has had some sort of small diner waiting job every year since he was 11. the kind of guy who drinks straight from the bottle while strangers cheer. the kind of guy who still manages to find a way to smile; the one that you'll see walking down the hallway. the kind of guy who pushes on those doors that say pull. the kind of guy who falls in love too fast, yet means it when he says I love you. the kind of guy who likes me, because I am me, not because I own my own apartment.

because you’re the kind of girl who would put hot sauce in your condoms. the kind of girl who likes to play poker. the kind of girl who would own an orange shirt. the kind of girl who lets you spend the whole day with her for $3000. the kind of girl who takes directing lightly. the kind of girl who likes to play. the kind of girl who's on the lookout for a head she can knock off with a shovel. the kind of girl who said yes to life and jumped head first into new things. the kind of girl who can get away with wearing a red leather coat. the kind of girl who never took a day off. the kind of girl who shakes. the kind of girl who confesses to a crime she didn't commit so her ex-wife won't have to go to prison. the kind of girl who in woodshop class would have buzzsawed through her own arm. the kind of girl who will do anything to get what she wants. the kind of girl who likes blog contests. the kind of girl who will just do her job every day. the kind of girl who is a friend to all.

because you’re the kind of guy who lets other kids copy his homework over and over, even if they never reciprocate. the kind of guy who told you he loved you on the first date. the kind of guy who gets past the velvet rope ahead of all the hotter, more important people. the kind of guy who would use his wily masculine wiles to get what he wants from some poor schmuck. the kind of guy who still slept with over-sized teddy bears, wrote in huge loopy cursive, and whose favorite food was pancakes. The kind of guy who laughs and says get up off your knees. the kind of guy who has a lot of sports trophies in his bedroom and keeps them neatly arranged. the kind of guy who's not too shy. the kind of guy who'd turn his nose up at the prize if he won it, claiming to be above such things. the kind of guy who is not the kind of guy who would be at a place like this. the kind of guy who waits for a knight in shining armor. the kind of guy who almost scowled at hearing a dirty word. the kind of guy who butts in. the kind of guy who drops all of his friends.

because you’re the kind of girl who likes to tell you what's best. the kind of girl who likes to follow guidelines. the kind of girl who will wear skinny jeans and converses and have shiny, cool black hair and love music (just like I do). the kind of girl who, if there were people sitting around in the mess tent and you walked in, she'd be one of the first people you would go sit by.

because you’re the kind of guy who'd fuck in church if you asked. the kind of guy who ditches his guys when he’s dating someone. the kind of guy who could be popular and kind of a geeky iconoclast without rubbing your face in it at any given moment. the kind of guy who absolutely loathes all forms of exercising. the kind of guy who loves to watch a good fight. the kind of guy who is obsessed with clothes-hair-makeup. the kind of guy who'd do something like this. the kind of guy who can walk right out of his humdrum life, hitch to Ireland and find his mom.

because you’re the kind of girl who should be in law enforcement. the kind of girl who, when she came up with an idea in the middle of the night, she had to talk with you right then. the kind of girl who only reads the cases.

because you’re the kind of guy who never received anything below a 100 percent on any school assignment. the kind of guy who would run away. the kind of guy who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. The kind of guy who's assertive in his actions, sexuality, and ambition. the kind of guy who walks into a door and apologizes. the kind of guy who hated public speaking. the kind of guy who expects that sort of thing. the kind of guy who will follow you around the world. the kind of guy who will straddle you in the driver's seat.

because you’re the kind of girl who would also get all insulted when you demanded to. the kind of girl who sticks around a while.

because you’re the kind of guy who no one notices. the kind of guy who anyone notices. the kind of guy who gives up just like that.


ALLISON CARTER is the author of A Fixed, Formal Arrangement (Les Figues) as well as two chapbooks: All Bodies Are The Same And They Have The Same Reactions (Insert Press, 2010) and Shadows Are Weather (Horse Less Press, 2009). Additionally, her work has been published in Out Of Nothing, Conjunctions, Joyland, P-Queue, 5_Trope, Fence, 3rd Bed, and other journals. Her poem ‘Razor Sharp Penny Candy’ was included in the Best of Fence: First Nine Years anthology. Her long poem, The Nests, is available from H_NGM_N.

Allison teaches creative writing to young women and is currently working on a series of breakfast poems. She lives in Los Angeles, CA. For more information: accarter.com.

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